The thing is, Big Brother didn't fail because of its decision to rebrand - it failed, not only because some of the things they canned were replaced with stinker ideas, but also because that rebranding was ultimately superficial. Big Brother actually wasn't very different - and that was the problem. The rebranding was nothing but advertising that eventually became hollow promise after hollow promise. When the show arrived - when the actual content kicked in - it was same old, same old. And everyone was pretty much over it - even some of its biggest fans. Idol has dropped the hollow promises of Big Brother's strategy, but it has then taken the same approach: to remain basically the same. And, just as Big Brother had some of its best aspects missing, Idol suffers parallel problems. The absence of Killeen is clearly comparable to the loss of Mark Holden. You feel that loss, when watching the show, in the same way Big Brother felt flat without Killeen. And these characters can be replaced; but Big Brother replaced it with an atrociously unsuited pair (for that particular format), Kyle and Jackie O, and Idol has offered one new character of... well... Ricki Lee Courtier. Sorry, guys, it hardly compensates. For a move that is surely based on the logic of not repeating Big Brother's mistakes, it's all looking terribly familiar, this far in.

 

And, sure, we're not too far in! But it's extremely hard, as we've seen, to change the relationship of a show to the consumer audience, after the one that is initially formed when that show arrives - particularly the case with iconic staplehorses, like Big Brother and Idol. We wait to see what the season will give us - the show, itself, takes part in hyping that up - and it arrives, and we say, "Ah, this is Idol 2008". Over a week in, now, and yes... there it is. And it aint much, let's face it.

 

The audition shows were certainly more of the same. There were some notably vicious moments that seemed to suggest the sadism had been turned up a notch - as it is, most years, mind you - no doubt, made the worse in combination with the absence of Holden, which left the balance of the panel tipping decidedly towards the growl. Still, to be honest, we've talked about these shows, on this website, more than enough. We know the score. There was nothing much new to say about their approach - and that, perhaps, is a perfect symbol of what could be the larger problem for this show.

 

What was interesting, however, about the auditions was to see the developing desperation among the auditionees. That is certainly evolving, and was also something visible in recent Big Brother auditions. These shows don't have the best reputation, anymore, we all know that; and with the experience we also know that being on these shows has become - a rather brutal, unpleasant experience, with little pay-off for careers - there is clearly an awareness of the format starting to emerge. You have to be pretty desperate, to resort to a reality TV audition! No offense to anyone here who has done it; but some part of you knows very well what I'm saying. And you can feel that in the auditionees. It was unpleasant to watch, for me.

 

What's worrying is that we see, in the Idol auditions, that the only demographic who do not come across as desperate are the very youngest hopefuls. These kids - and that's all they are - have the kind of sparkling eyes that long, long ago, the very first reality TV hopefuls had, before it all went to hell and only really desperate people threw themselves to the lions for a shot at the Dream™. What worries me is that we see, in these kids, a suggestion that the generation who have been raised on this modern culture - on the bullshit pseudo-reality - do, quite logically, think it is "real". They buy it. Yes, there is a growing rejection within society, but it is only happening in age groups that have some sense of contrast to the "good old days". Even the older Gen Y brigade get it - but Gen Z don't seem to, and that's... well... not very good. The nasty "here and now" is pretty much all these kids have ever known. They have grown up in a deceptive, propagandist ad campaign, in a nihilistic consumer-oblivion. They don't know any better. And they still rock up to Idol auditions, chasing a Dream™ they sincerely believe in. And this is why the show - ever so subtle, as always - has increasingly moved the age bracket, younger and younger. This is where the dazzle - the naivety - is. There's gold in those youngsters' delusions, I tell ya!  But can Idol 2008 pump it, and turn it into TV magic?

 

We'll see. But I want to stop and take a moment to acknowledge the other side of this coin, because, this time, it wasn't the cruelty of the judges that broke my heart - as they took that ultra-hypocritical stance of suggesting they were doing some kind of good deed, by informing these people they weren't actually any good (how thoughtful of them, to do it with an assault of nasty one-liners, on national television!) - but, rather, the steady flow of 30 year olds who really were at their last resort. And they knew it, too. Sure, they know how bad Idol is. Of course, they never wanted "that" kind of career break. But they're 30, they're still waiting on tables or (at best), like Gaucci, singing shitty songs on ocean-cruisers and in corporate cocktail bars, and their friends have stopped believing in them and introducing them at parties as someone "who's gonna be famous". It looks increasingly like their families, who they were so sure were wrong when they told them to aim for a more attainable dream,  may turn out to be right. And that's hard. They turn up at those auditions, and they stand there, degrading themselves for this stupid, stupid production, and they bare their broken hearts - their insecurities, their disillusionment, their flaws - with us all. That is the real portrait of the Dream - those men and women are the true Dreamers. That is, after all, pretty much all they've had. And the tension is unbearable - it was difficult to watch some of it - particularly, when it became apparent that Idol was not exactly sympathetic to being used as such a platform.  

 

One managed to turn that anxiety into such a jolly good heart-wrencher that, yes, he got through - despite being one of the least talented from his late age bracket. The scene of 30 year old, James, who had just had the baby, and was, by his own admission, at those auditions as the very last shot before putting his Soul away for good, was gripping television, there's no doubt about it. You know the one I'm talking about, right? That shot of him, outside the audition halls, trying very hard not to have an anxiety attack, as he tried to explain the ferocity and desperation of the emotion inside him - standing before a TV camera, nearing a turning point that would spell the resolution he'd been waiting for, or, if not, the end of that dream. "Jesus Christ," he kept breathing, through the tears. It was horrible and beautiful, simultaneously. And it was undeniably sincere - but the irony is, without that scene, he probably would not have made it through (his on-stage performances were nowhere near as riveting). Welcome to reality television. Got a Story™? Good. Onward, you go.

 

Aside from this, the similar (but not quite as endearing) Stories™ - 30 year olds who had, mostly, looked down the barrel of domestic life and decided to take one final grab at the Dream™ - did not end so beautifully. At its worst moment, the production exploited one, quite deliberately, to put the killer final scene in the selection of the triumphant 24. There, the two girls stood - Angela, another 30 year old who, even from her song choice, was a scratch in a broken record that will never play out the song, next to Chrysalyn, who, at just 17, has already become the early favourite. There was only one spot left. They were going to milk the moment for all it was worth, and, true to form, we witnessed one of those particularly vile moments of reality television, where the anxiety their power can elicit and arouse in their hopefuls was blatantly used for no other reason than for a bit of suspense for the couch-potatoes at home. It's no secret, what I think of those kind of tactics. They taunted them, and taunted them, and had the desperate 30 year old nearly on the verge of complete mental collapse. Then, just for the sake of a good old plot-twist, they made it appear that she would, in fact, be handed her escape route from a terrible 20's through bad jobs, vicious men and broken marriages. How bad do you think she wanted it? Bad.

 

It's not that Chrysalyn didn't want it, of course - but how can you compare the emotion of the two somewhat antithetical stories?

 

"You're 17," Dicko sighed at Chrysalyn. "You're standing next to a 30 year old who has really lived. How am I going to believe you, when your singing those tales and stories? You've had no life experience - I can't believe it. How can you mean it? You can't." 

 

It was probably the most logical observation made, all night - and, yet, it was just for show. Just as Angela began to rise from a great low, sensing the Dream™ was to be hers, it all switched, in that horrible "gotcha" kind of way. Chrysalyn was through. Ciao, desperate, heart-broken 30 year old. The door's that way. Enjoy the rest of your oblivion.

 

We talk of the more obvious moments, every year, where those poor delusional souls are dumped, so brutally, at the front door. But it is actually the moments like these - where some are let in the first door, but stopped so dramatically at the final moment - that are Idol's most vicious. As always, I sighed, and spared a thought for them all. If it's any consolation, the Dream™ is a sham, anyway, and it never works for anyone.

 

Which is why, it goes without saying, the show then rolled out its not-very-exciting "change", with the winner receiving an "Artist's Development Fund", "supposedly" worth $200,000. "Artist's Development Fund" is PR speak for "We realise that everyone has caught on to how winning the show doesn't actually lead to anywhere, professionally - so, we thought we'd make it look like we are now taking care of your real dreams, after that cheesy Christmas album has been released." We may remember that last year was the first time we saw the two finalists discussing, in the press, how they thought that maybe coming second was a more fruitful fate. That's not so good, when your contestants start saying things like that about their own competition - it looks bad in press, and it means worse things for attracting valid talent to the auditions. This silly "fund" is a carrot, designed to shut everyone up, and dangle the Dream™ on the other side of coming first. Not second, thank you. First. Winning has to matter - it's vital to the dynamic of the show.

 

However, this all conveniently ignores the story of last year's winner, Natalie Gaucci. We may remember how Natalie struggled with wanting to make her mark as an artist in her own right, but was stuck, for the time being, in that horrible Machine™. She smiled her way through it - turned up to early-morning chat shows and tried to look serious, as she played Rhianna's Umbrella (I mean, really) - and all to get to that moment she really wanted: her own album. Hers. Not idol's. Hers. And the thing is, she did write and record it, under contract to SonyBMG. She even did artwork, photoshoots, the whole shebang. The same shebang, in fact, that is now flaunted as an "Artist's Development Fund" - as something "new". It isn't. And what happened to Gauci's album?  One week, they were getting ready to release it... but the next? Dumped. One boardroom meeting she wasn't even there for, and it's all over. Because, quite frankly, they know nobody cares. She may get another chance - maybe - but it will be on the grounds that she puts that creative autonomy away, and gets back to singing bad covers of pop hits for bogans. She might get another RSL tour, that way. But, for the time being, she's got zero. This girl won this over-the-top spectacle - this farce - less than twelve months ago. The Dream™ is already pretty much dead and buried. Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, Natalie.

 

So, who will be the next poor sod who comes out of this thing with completely unrealistic expectations? We'll wait for the final 12 to be decided, before we start going into the contestants in any depth; but, from this point, it has to be said... it's a pretty lackluster bunch. We discussed, last year, how the age of the show will increasingly result in a drying up of potential talent (another reason why they are favouring the young ones). Notably absent is a real contender for the roles formerly played by Geyer and Corby. Nobody is particularly hot, or, even worse, that talented - heaven forbid, "quirky". There'll be greater emphasis on the big diva voice, this year, because of this - there are, after all, just so many big female voices, out there (thanks, Hillsong). 16 year old, Tom Williams, who gives the series an unnerving tint of Young Talent Time (and that's not a good thing) is probably the best bet for this season's Big Character™ - and that says so very much. The only one I personally nod to, in any way, so far, is Madame Parker - who, aside from the name (it's fabulous, let's face it), at least brings more Alicia Keys to the table, than the standard Idol Beyonce rip-off we get, every year. 

 

Plenty of time for these discussions, however. Come back, next time, when we have a closer look at the starting gate for the final 12. Without Holden, without any notable (or meaningful) changes, and without a better pool of talent, this could get rather embarrassing. But, hey, perhaps that will make it more fun. Or not. 

 

Ah, but to Dream™.